Put a SIM in my Remote, Please!

I wish the following things had a sim-card in them - just to make it easier for us to trace them by a few missed calls:

1. The TV Remote (I was about to write 'Remote Control', but that's so ganwaar types); 
2. The Wallet;
3. Children (during wedding ceremonies);
4. The Toothbrush;
5. The Kitchen Knife;
6. The Wrist Watch.
7. The Key Chain

Life would really be easier that way. 

Women! You can't live with them!

You can't live without them!

You can't kill them!