Laughable Oscars

Cynic: One who "loves" to find fault in things; a faultfinder!

Now that I have told you the exact definition of the word, "cynic", let me assert, or clarify, here that I am not a cynic! I loved the fact that Rahman and troop bagged the 8 Oscars (I was excited and disappointed that I wasn't able to share that moment with someone around), and that the world's sweetheart, Kate, finally got what she has been deserving for a long, long time.

For a moment, I admit, the Oh-I-am-the-God-IITian in an attention-deprived me was also disappointed since I had little to contribute towards these moments of Indian glory (and, hence, no spotlights on me), but I soon got over that stupid ego-filled feeling!

Of all the Oscars I have seen live on the telly, though, this one was the most laughable. A pathetic compere, some shabby LIVE performances (let's face it: even Rahman was not able to sing his songs well enough - he was shrieking in places - and his fusion piece with another punter was pure cacaphony), and a catalogue of movies that the Oscar history won't really be proud of.

Probably 90% of regular Bollywood watchers would agree when I opine that if Slumdog Millionaire can get an Oscar, then a movie like Satya, or Taare Zameen Par should have won a couple of them too ... hands down!

Also, if Rahman can get an Oscar for the really average music (only in my opinion), he should have bagged atleast 3 Oscars earlier in his melodious life.

Seriously, most of the people I know have already tried-and-tested Slumdog Millionaire's songs and ditched them in their playlists for songs from Ghajini, Dostana, and Kala Bandar (Dilli-6 is not the right name for the movie). Also, I feel that the best songs of Slumdog Millionaire were/are Paper Planes and its remixed version - both of which were credited completely to M.I.A. I don't give Rahman more than three stars for his contribution to the album.

Not to mention (but still mentioning), Gulzar saheb should have had 10 by now. Wake up any Gulzar fan at 3am in the morning and he can utter 10 songs for which Gulzar should have received an Oscar.

Slumdog should be thankful that not a single 'great' movie was made by Hollywood in the year 2008.

However, as most of us realise, Slumdog winning the Oscars is less about the acclaim for the movie, it's more about the fact that finally an Indian movie (is it really an Indian movie ... or a movie about India?) has been recognized on a universal level. Ofcourse, in that respect, the victory was damn important as it shows that the Western perspective has changed. But that's the only importance these 8 Oscars hold for me!

(Who am I anyway)!

These 8 Oscars don't mean that we are in the Hollywood league - not at all! We are still further away - and would remain so for a long time to come. What more can we expect in times when Bollywood's most awaited film of the year (Ghajini) is a cocktailed version of an average and years-old Hollywood not-so-blockbuster (Memento).

The Munich disaster of 1958 has done much for the fan-empathy that Manchester United generated, and continues to do so (may be unwantingly). I have a gut feel (with complete respect to the sensitivity of the issue) that the 26/11 Mumbai attacks made the Western world see this movie with a a slightly different, more grave intent. Afterall, it's about the 'real' Mumbai, and no matter what we say, disasters to a brand multiply the brand-connect-value by thousands (be it unfortunately, or fortunately ... this is something I won't comment on much).

Then, no one would have paid attention worth a paisa if the world was told, "Hey! This is a Bollywood movie about Mumbai!" The fact that it was an out-and-out British production house definitely played a huge role in the Wesern audience sitting straight and watching out for this film. While they know how to market movies the 'Hollywood' way, the fact that the British movie industry has as dignified an image as any other movie industry lent all the gravity to Slumdog ... as it could. There's very little wonder, then, that the movie was noticed by audience the world over. Bottomline: pick a Hollywood or a British movie and add the correct marketing mix to it - you've got a worldwide audience. It need not be a an out-of-the-world piece of art.

The uniqueness of the movie, as Irfan Khan rightly pointed out, was the masala in it. Just like we didn't give much bhaav to Chicken Tikka Masala before the Western world went gaga over it (and now in some parts, they call it by their own name - Vindaloo), I couldn't give much bhaav to the masala aspect of the movie when I saw it. However, the Western audience would have lyuvvved it thoroughly - and this uniqueness ensured that the attention garnered was converted into awards ... !

The point is ... we can't go about pretending to be as good as the Hollywood industry ... and celebrate for that reason, can we? All this celebration just conceals the huge gaps that ought to be bridged ... and I fear that's what will happen again. We'll remain a B-Grade movie making industry (with a few exceptions), and we'll end up imitating the West as much as we can - just like we do now. The Oscars will be important (just like Bindra's metallic victory in the Olympics) only if the slow moving Indian elephant picks some momentum in the right direction ... else there's no use celebrating much.

The most important thing in communication is hearing what is not being said

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