Blank after Mumbai

Spoke with Sushant Das (CTO, Chakra Interactive), with whom I am very pally since the Phonologies days (2003-4). That's when I used to work at Dhanraj Mahal, the building almost next to the Taj Hotel, or a stone's throw distance from Leopold Cafe (it was so close that I should have said, "Sharon Stone's throw distance") ... 

It's when I got talking to him that I started to 'live' the attacks. He mentioned to me how he was about to get down for dinner on that fatal, fateful night, just before the first bullet was shot. How not only men, women and children were shot by laughing gunmen, but also dogs which dared to bark and disturb them in their holy mission. How some one of his acquaintances bled to death while celebrating a birthday.

I have a habit of going for a thoughtful walk after my meals - and I used to cross the Cafe everyday to just roam around in Colaba Causeway, then measure the entire periphery of the Taj Hotel, and return back to my workdesk. Today, when I think of it, I feel scared, and much more dejected about it all.

Even today, I am unaware of what to say and do. Should I thank God for the fact that my ex-office people are still alive, or should I forget these personal linkages and mourn for the general? Should I stop going to movies and hotels from now on, and avoid any public place, like malls, especially during the weekends? Should I go to that upcoming conference in Bombay - which will be held in another 5-starred hotel?

Probably not. I shouldn't. But, probably, I will.

Pray. Not for yourself. Never. But for those who have been praying for you all this while.