18 Till I Die - You Bet!

If you are a normal teenager, there's a huge chance that you may die on your 18th birthday. Blame the public authorities for this.

One fine day, these fellows decided that the legally right age to start drinking freely in public is 18. That must have been a couple of centuries ago, probably. Teenagers just couldn't wait to get to 18, and on their 18th birthdays they would go wild gulping gallons down their throats.

These fellows also decided that the legally right age for someone to start driving is the same age - 18. Teenagers couldn't wait to get to 18, and on their 18th birthdays they made it a point to unleash the driver in them. 

The result: these children get to their 18th birthdays, over-intoxicate, and over-accelerate. It's all plain mathematics from here.

Driving should only be made legal after people are used to higher levels of intoxication ... so, around 3-4 years after drinking is made legal. Doing everything together is just too much pressure on the young, bursting 18-year-olds. Really.

On the other hand, tee-totalers who don't learn driving should be put into jail, without second thought. Unlicensed teetotalling is crime, almost blasphemy. What's the use of tee-totalers, who are anyway rare to find, who don't drive? The one, and only one, real value of a tee-totaler is to drive the drunken party animals back home with safety - there's no other thing a teetotaler can be used for. They are sober, boring, moronic, conscious, aware, and constrained within the bounds of decency - all of which makes them useless losers.

I think drink therefore I am.