January, 2009

Dreamy Start!

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My new-year celebrations usually start in August, when the real football season kicks-off. By that logic, I am pretty much half-way through a typical year - but what the heck! The world's celebrating, and so will I (moreso since ManUtd did pretty well to muster all 6 points over xmas)!

I prefer to start a festival, or a festive occasion on a bright note - like waking up very early in the morning, and feeling pleased with this achievement (it takes a lot of courage, especially in the chilly winter mornings of Bangalore). Here's what the morning looks like at home, btw ...

The FCUK guys decided against a football game - antcipating a hangover - hence, I found it much more difficult to wake up really early. However, woke up, made myself some steamy coffee, munched my fav. Bourn Bourn biscuits, listened to God's (read: Rabbi) first album Rabbi ...

(Everytime I listen to Rabbi, I think of Chadha - not because Chadha is the coolest turban-legend of my life, but because both of us have spoken endlessly about Rabbi - and shared almost every sentiment that Rabbi sings about in his albums. May be it's true for all people, it's definitely true for us. Infact, the moment I bought this CD sometime in 2002-3, I dedicated it to the guy whom girls call 'Jeev' - you can notice this on the picture).

 

Amidst the very normal routine that I followed (which was dotted with phone-calls and forwarded sms-es) to step into 2009, there's one long-standing, teeny little dream that I fulfilled (actually, I am doing that while I write).

Remember Tiffins? Or Nutties? The "candied cashew bits enrobed in chocolate" ...? Those oval shaped chocolates that always seemed so exotic?!

When in school, mom used to pass on 2 little 'bits' of those - despite having an entire box at her disposal. That's it! Two! It was very, very frustrating - and all I could manage to do was to suck on those for as long as possible. I don't remember when, but one of those days, I had decided that one day,when I grow up, I will buy myself a full box of tiffins/nutties, and eat them like peanuts ... not suck them, not cherish them, but just eat them like peanuts!

That's what I am doing while I write this post - and I am enjoying every 'bit' of it! Welcome, 2009! Have a good year ahead

Fitting quote:

 

"No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut."

Channing Pollock, American playwright and critic

 

 

Sports Biz. in this Economy - Hard Candy!

in

Yes - the sports industry is a 'cool' industry to be in - but in these times, it's pretty much like hard-candy. The present tense is not the *perfect* time to be in the sports domain (ok ... so Man City's Mark Huges has been given 100m to spend this January - that's a horrendous exception) - with corporates hard-bent on rounding corners. This adversely effects their spending powers on sponsorship, employee entertainment, and client flirting. Within the sports industry, these effect (respectively) professional sports events, amateur inter/intra-corporate events (viewed by the HR guys as team-building exercises), and sports tourism (a great tool for client relationship management).

Nowhere else is the effect more evident than in the case of Nascar - one of the biggest and fastest growing brands in the US sports industry (it now makes more revenues than the NFL, NBA and NHL combined). With the motor industry travelling on rocky terrain, and Detroit's Big Three finding holes where they once had stuffed-pockets, Nascar's sponsor-source has been severely depleted.

Recently, I was watching the Big Three 'Bail-Out' hearing on the BBC, wherein the CEO's of the three monsters were blamed (very, very embarassingly) for travelling to the hearing in business class seats! Given this, it's only understandable that the companies, then, decide to cut their investments in sponsorship arrangements like the Nascar, isn't it? 600 employees involved with the Nascar have already lost their jobs, may be more of them will have to rush for the carton boxes.

GM recently went to the extent of declaring that it won't be buying any advertisement slots during the Super Bowl which happens to be the most watched TV show in the US ... 97 million viewers! Golf hasn't been spared - almost everyone knows that GM ended their aeons-long association with Tiger Woods (doubly good - since Tiger's roars sound no more than gentle purrs these days) ... 

We don't usually see the BCCI as a company (because it isn't) ... but the NBA and the NFL are structured companies - and the recession has been hurting them in exactly the same way as it has scratched the other firms. Hence, the NBA has decided to simply lay-off personnel, while the NFL has been finding it extremely gruelling to find partners who could lend their names (and money) to the stadiums of some brnads like Dallas Cowboys, NY Giants, Jets.

In cycling, Tour de Georgia, America's version of the Tour de France, was cancelled for the lack of sponsorship! Not just reduced or postponed - but cancelled!

F1! F1 has been crying, "F1! F1!" (read: "Help! Help!") of late - with the 11 teams that spent 1.5 billion USD in 2008 finding it impossible to justify the spend. While our Mr. Mallya is foolishly spending tonnes of money on the pathetic Force India, Honda has already decided to sell its F1 team (probably also because they don't win anything really - no ROI there), Audi has distanced itself from the idea of sponsoring the legendary Le Mans sports car series (legendary in Europe, never-heard-of elsewhere), the Canadians are done with their version of the Grand Prix ...

(This crisis, on the other hand, may turn out to be good for F1 - as people, like the Formula One Teams Association, who have been trying to get rid of the dictator Ecclestone, now have a solid reason to dethrone him). 

As a soft-note, Ferrari reported 2008 as it's best year ever for sales! Montezemolo (Ferrari chairman - also chairman of Fiat) prophesied that 2009 may be even better, since "there will always be someone crazy enough to buy a Ferrari". Jug jug jiyo! (All they need to find, really, is 6000 buyers - that's all they produce in a year).

I feel that the Tata Group has hit it right on the nail's head by getting their logo on the Ferrari for the forthcoming season. The space would have cost much less in the current times (just a wild guess), and to be recoginzed as a brand in the international arena, it makes complete sense to ride on the shoulders of Ferrari's success. Tata's logo would be seen with logos of the following: Shell, Acer, AMD, and Martini! That's *some* company!! 

A gut feel is that golf will continue to survive much better than the others - it's the primary let-out for depressed and stressed out CXO's (we have plenty of them roaming around, don't we) - and apart from being therapautic, it's one activity which is as much a tourism-thing as a sport. The affluent strata won't really be *that* bothered by the economy and, hence, golf will find it's buyers.

However, as an expert opined, the golf industry will try saving on labour costs (hence, the courses won't be so well trimmed and edged as they are today), as well as on food and beverages costs (so, the menu's at the 19th hole's won't be so flashy).

Professional sport aside, things shouldn't be so bleak. For instance, the amateur sports industry, where sport is perceived (or marketed) less as an advertising tool, and more as a fitness and wellness thing, should cruise smoothly. Afterall, the populace is becoming increasingly aware of, and spending much more than before on, fitness, well-being, health, and stress-free living. Services that would cater to the needs of this part of the population would generally thrive - if what I feel is correct. In such a scenario, people associated with city-marathons, gyms, yoga centres etc. should do good (to me, this explans why Standard Chartered continues to be attached to the Bombay, Dubai and Hong Kong marathons ... )

What about Indian cricket?! Well, that's a national timepass of an emerging economy - can it be affected by these little mosquito bites?

I don't think so!

 

 

Forgetful Lucy!

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Today, Meer, Parminder, and me were speaking about situations when you just can't remember the name of an approaching acquaintance - a situation made especially embarsassing and 'jamming' if this person remembers your name very well, and actually is approaching you yelling your name ... 

The probability of such a thing happening is huge for people who spend time in sizeable communities - residential premises, runners clubs ... etc. etc.

The IIT campus was one such place where there were numerous occasions when some bachcha would come calling, "Topiiii! Hi!" ... and I just couldn't remember his name for nuts! Similar things happened with me at the Pan IIT at IITM ... but I was better prepared with my responses.

For instance ... if it was a junior I used to know very well, I would just hug him tight saying, "Bloody Hell! You, of all the people!!" ... and then prolong the conversation for a few seconds till I exchanged cards with him. Then, it was easy!

On other occasions, I resorted to the ask-them-for-the-spelling trick, where I pretended to add his phone number in my device, and while doing so, ask him for the correct spelling, "Hey! How exactly do you spell your name ... "

The worry is ... what if the name was actually very, very simple to spell - like, Vijay?! To avoid looking like a fool who's asking someone for the correct spelling of a two-syllabled-word like 'Vijay' ... or so ... I would resort to the ask-them-for-their-complete-name trick, "Oye! I never knew your complete name ... what is it?"

Often, I was not in a mood to pretend and act-out, so I would just say, "Hell! I know this smart face! But maaf karna, I can't put a name to it!!" This definitely is the best thing to do, I opine, since it is frank, honest and innocent. Also, easy.

Impromptu communication is, for me, an art - and it takes some practice to become graceful at this. Thankfully, I don't suck at it!

I don't disregard self-help books (Gita is a self-help book too), but I don't indulge myself within self-help books a lot. However, I occasionaly jump into this nice book, "How to Talk to Anyone" ... and try to practice some tips sometimes. Know what?! They work!

Like, when this Airtel lady solved my looooong-standing connection problem, I followed some tips from the book: asked her for her manager's name, compiled a hand-written appreciation letter, attached my biz. card to it, addressed it to the manager, but handed it to the lady requesting her to pass it on to her boss. Of course, I did tell her what it was. 

The next day, I received an overly-enthusiastic call from the lady thanking me no-ends. Some two months later, I thought I would connect with her again for another trivial problem, and when I did call her, she greeted me, "Mr. Sorabh! How are you, Sir?!" While my troubles were sorted out within minutes, I was amused that she had actually stored my number in her phone-book! That letter must have done something really good to her.

I now know what Evan Almighty meant by "act of random kindness" ... and how wonderful it can be.

 

A Czech man went for an eye test, and was told to read the bottom line of the eye chart which read, "HREDCKY".

"Can you read this clearly?" asked the optician.

"Read it?" said the Czech man, "I know the guy!"

 

 

 

Worthless Wishes

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The entire practice of sending sms-greetings during festive occasions seems to be in a sorry state of (lazy) charmlessness.

This Diwali, I received the following message from three different people (quoting here as is):

"3 people were asking your mobile no..
I didnt give your no but I gave them your home address.
They are coming home today.They are: Happiness, Peace and Prosperity.
Pls welcome them as I requested them to stay with you forever! Happy Deepawali!"
 

Now ... I consider myself lucky to have people who want to send smses to me on festive occasions, wishing me all the goodness in life. Very lucky. However, it turns me off when people resort to the stale practice of forwarding messages. 

Not a great analogy probably, but it feels like they are re-sending a used Archies greeting card. Or, as Nehru used to say about eating with knives and forks, it's like making love through an interpreter (read this in the Walter Crocker's very fabulous Nehru: A Contemporary's Estimate)!

SMS greetings look really graceful if they are personal, and unique. On a typical festival day, an average mobile number receives atleast 15 greetings. I receive around 20 or so ... and while the untimely, persistent beeping of the phone is quite a pain, it becomes an ever bigger one to receive the same message from 6 different people (not just similar - but same ... same)! Imagine receiving this message 4 times in 2 hours:

"Isse phle dipawali ki sham ho jae,
Badhaiyo ka silsila aam ho jae,

Bheed me shamil hamara bhi naam ho jae,

Kyo na dipawali ki abhi se RAM-RAM ho jae."

My first reaction, when I receive such messages, is to sigh in my mind and reflect on the creative handicap of the sender. Instinctively, the sender falls down a few notches on my i-admire-you meter.

As an initial consolation, it feels good to realise that the sender actually remembered you - until the realisation dawns upon that it may have been a message he or she beamed to the entire phonebook. Then, it starts feeling utterly inadequate as a 'greeting'.

Around the turn of the year, I was so imbibed in the fear of receiving stale happy-new-year smses that I was tempted to shut the phone down! I didn't, and to my surprise, the frequency of stale messages was very, very less (probably also because I chose to call a lot of my phone book roster people to wish them a good 2009 - so, most of them didn't find much reason to send in an sms).

The best part was: Ashish (who, now, prefers to spell it as Aasheesh) sent me a message that just stood out. We have been talking about Ghalib a lot off late, and it was a pleasant move on his part to send in this sms as a new year message:

Ik Brahamin ne kaha hai ki yeh saal achcha hai,
Dil ko khush rakhne ko Ghalib ye khayal achcha hai ...
 
Ashish surely does have this uncanny capacity to surprise me with his thinking. Wish more people could buy more time, and spend more thoughts, on the way they communicate with others! I myself have lacked in this, and lost out on wonderful could-be moments.
 
"The shortest distance between two people: humor"
 
 

The Peer Pressure of Celebrating Life

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My cousin bro, Yogesh bhaiyya, wasn't very surprised when I told him that I chose to avoid any parties etc. for the new year festivities - and was sleeping at home instead.

His family and him went down to the public hall at their recently chosen new residential premise, and attended a party organised by the residents - much with the hope of meeting interesting people, and socialising with the like-minded ones.

While talking, he made one very interesting point: quite a lot of people, if not most, go out for such parties almost purely out of peer pressure. In his party, he observed that most of the families and couples who had come down there, in fact, were dawdling around within themselves, busier with eating and drinking than with meeting other people, keeping an eye on their kids, and almost waiting to excuse themselves from the gathering.

But they had to come, or people would have blah-ed about them (or so they thought)!

Then, one of these days, I chanced upon this very nice read, "I'm Trying To See All These Movies. You Want To Talk? Go Home!", where the author introduces us (me, atleast) to the phrase, "companion media". He opined that people "view a movie as companion media, something to be taken in while doing other things like chatting up a pal next to them or updating their friends and relatives with texts or calls during the course of the matinee".

However, like Po's dad in Kung Fu Panda says, it's all what you believe it is. People I know don't find the idea of going to the movies all alone very comfortable, and understandably so. But for me, some movies are best viewed in isolation.

Then, these post-25 years have made it difficult to find a friend in sight whom you could go out with. If you do, it's hard to align everybody's calendars to watch a movie together, and the worst part is, most of the friends *have* to watch a movie with their spouses (sometimes by choice).

Given these constraints, I find it reasonable for someone to go out for movies alone (especially if a Monday morning show would cost as less as 70 bucks)! Succumbing to peer-pressure, instead, and waiting for a friend to tag along with me would have deprived me from atleast 5 good movies I watched last year. 

After that small conversation with my bro, I have come to feel that peer-pressure celebrations can end up being much more depriving and depressing than not celebrating at all.

Feels good! :)

Meanwhile, I am busy using seventymm, torrent-streams, and the cinema to update myself with all the good movies of 2008, so that I can watch the Oscars with some contextual information! Wall-E, Kung Fu Panda, Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case ... , .. all in the reckoning.

Gyan: At the Oscars, they don't say, " ... and the winner is ..." anymore, because they don't want the others to feel like 'losers'! They, instead, announce, "... and the Oscar goes to ..." How much time before our desi-imitators follow suit?

 

"There's no special ingredient."

Po's father, to Po.

 

 

Serendipity Marketing

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Yesterday, Ronaldo slammed his Ferrari into a tunnel, and came out untouched. While ManU fans may be relieved, Ferrari is enjoying.

Levis should now come out and inform the world, "Ronaldo's left knee was only slightly hurt during the accident. However, the Levis jeans he was wearing was partially torn".

You think I am kidding? This is what Telegraph had to say: "After the crash, Ronaldo probably picked up his Louis Vuitton bag and waited for the bus".

Way to go, Louis Vuitton!

Seriously, imagine what a brand would give for this: 1 Entire Day of World-Wide Headlines (tv news, websites, radio, print) with the mention of the brand name and that of Cristiano Ronaldo - the Best Football Player on Planet Earth - in the same breath.

Triillions! Moreso, when the context is such eye-popping and emotionally relevant as an accident.

Ferrari achieved that for zot cost. No one will even hint at a defect in Ferrari causing the incident (it's a Ferrari - it cannot be defective), but everyone will now know that Cristiano Ronaldo, the Ballon d'Or recipient, drives a Ferrari. The icing on the cake would be if Ferrari offers Ronaldo a new car as a graceful consolation - evoking all sorts of admiring emotions amongst the fans ... winning more heart-space!

I guess Montezemolo (Ferrari chief, and as influential in sports as one gets) may have actually paid Ronaldo to slam the machine into some tunnel, anticipating all the media-commotion post-crash. One of the safest marketing investments, in my opinion.

4-5 years ago, when Beckham first visited Madrid for the then imminent transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid, it was scheduled to be a two-day event. Without wait, Audi jumped into the picture and offered Real to manage every inch of Beckham's conveyance during the two-day program.

Real saw it as an expense saved, and obliged. The result: Audi was all over the media for those two days. Those two days, as Audi declared, did more for its marketing than what they normally would achieve in an average year with their entire marketing budget!

Marketing can be such an exciting domain to be in! Happy B'Day to my hamesha-analytic friend, Parle.

 

Doing what will *always* make headlines?
Sleeping on corduroy pillows!
 

26 Miles of Pain, A Lifetime of Bragging ...

in

That's how marathons have been marketed, and how true it is! These westerners are born with marketing heads!

For my own reasons, I am still not able to relate myself with a marathon run. On multiple thoughts, I think it is because marathon is so much about a challenge one throws to oneself, about doing something relatively superhuman (relative to oneself, I mean). In the physical endurance domain, it's highly aspirational.

My problem is that all through my three decades of existence, I have thrown harsh physical challenges at myself uncountable times, and achieved many of them with immense satisfaction, (infact, with Edwin Sir as the coach, even the warm-ups would be challenging sometimes)! So much so that the 'aspirational' attribute of running a marathon is too lilliputian to tempt me into running ... or as Nike put's it, " ... pounding the pavement ... or .. raking up those miles ...!"

I have found this theorem to be consistently true: not one person I know who was even remotely associated to playing a sport in IIT or at RKC has thought about attempting a marathon (the one's that keep showing up in all these metros). 

When I say, "... sport ...", I mean competetive sport, not recreational.

May be because metro-marathon running is more magnetic for those who have never attempted anything this physicall-crazy in life ... though they had all the chances (be a part of a sport, go through the draining training routines everyday, sustain injuries etc. etc.) to do so. Those who have been regular at sports in college or school seem to be more inclined to enjoy the 5km or 7km runs at these marathon events with colleagues and friends, assure themselves that they are still in good shape, and get back to homes.

There are other reasons why people run marathons: social-proof (everyone's doing it, I should try it as well); because it's the easiest way to get started in a sport (you just can't think, "I'm going to play football" ... and start doing it the next day); for a social cause; for personal physical goal-setting; for self-indulgence; or simply for the love of running. May be one day I will do it for these reasons (except the first two). Till then I have many other things to do: having a blast playing my daily football (and within 2 weeks, I should be able to master the Zidane 360 turn to baffle defenders running on either side of me); rediscovering the joys of playing hockey; cycling gleefully through Rajasthan!

Running, I feel, is like an arranged marriage. You get into it first mostly without a definitive purpose, and then you start falling in love. Running is utterly pleasing when you mean it to be ... and that's why I fail to perceive it as a sport. Sport, as I have always seen it, is much more than mere pleasure. It's like a war where all that matters is winning, and there's no concept of "runners-up". Sport is about fiery competing, having an opponent who brings his own set of mysterious constraints that one has to deal with, and tearing that opponent apart. There's nothing 'friendly' about sport! The day I find a reason to compete with the best runners in a marathon, I will devote my knees to 3 hours of tar-torture ... but I hope that day doesn't come. Until that day, marathon-runners will continue to simply amuse me with what they are doing to their joints.

Probably, the one thing that can really get me back to serious running would be the guarantee that I'll get to run on the crossy route within the IITB campus all through the monsoons :) Hopefully Sari could join me on those runs sometimes, or Issac could help me time the run on a borrowed cycle!

 

English Stands Corrected

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George Bernard Shaw, the second most quoted man in the world (after that guy called Anonymous), once observed that eliminating the use of 'silent' letters in the English language could bring major economical benefits to England. For instance, typewriter-ink worth England's annual taxes could be saved, apart from the paper space that each silent letter takes up which could result in saving trees too.

English *is* a very phoney language ... due to the random phonetics it offers. I first realised this when watching the magnificent Chupke Chupke when Dharmendra questions Om Shiv Puri about the dissimilar pronunciation of 'do' and 'go'. Years later, Vikram (H8, Co-Founder of the BONDA Group - the drama mandali at IIT which expands as Birth Of Neo-Dramatic Age) explained to me how Sanskrit and Hindi are the most phonetic and, hence, scientific languages ever.

That's why they say that Sanskrit is the most computer-friendly language, and should replace English in programming.

However, there's hope for English. If the SIM-Generation finds its ways, English may well get a slap on its wrist soon. Earlier, bade-buzurg used to ridicule these youngsters who would type stuff like, "Hey, r u cming 4 da sho?" in an sms. However, in one of my humblest opinions, this is the most scientific and efficient ways to write the sentence using the English alphabet. Definitely much better than, "Hey, are you coming for the show?"

Yes ... it does not 'read' or 'look' good ... but that's because *we* are not used to it. 3 or 5 generations hence, the society will get used to this punctuation/grammar. That's how English will be (I am really hoping this) written, and read.

Many times, as a pseudo-entrepreneur (let's face it ... SportzVillage has assumed most of the risks with MeraSport which has cushioned me enough to keep me as a semi-entreprenuer), I hope and pray for some constraints to show up - especially when I am undecided about stuff. Constraints help in limiting choices, and this helps in making quick and efficient decisions. For instance, we didn't have money to advertise MeraSport - so we *had* to go the word-of-mouth way. Great decision, in hindsight!

Methinks, the difficulty in writing long sentences through a mobile keypad, and the constraint of 160 characters per sms, made the sms-users think about efficiency in writing. That's how 'You' became 'U', and "Come soon, honey, I am online" became "Cm soon, hnE, I m onlyn" ... 

Oldies like me (for the current SIM-Generation, I *am* an oldie, really) still like to write proper sentences in an SMS with all the correct punctuations. However, I have never found it hard to make sense of SMSes that are written the SMS-way. Infact, I love to figure out the shortest way to write a word without altering its pronunciation, and it's a pleasure when I find such innovation in the SMSes that I receive!

That's why ... if the current generation has its way, Shakespeare may well get a little uneasy in his grave ...

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

 

My GameDay Tweets!

8 weeks 3 days ago — Manchester City vs Blackburn Rovers (ESPN, 0124hrs)! Next set of games on the 16th!
8 weeks 5 days ago — ESPN: Hul-Che (1810), Ars-Eve (2025), Bir-ManU (2255); STAR: Wig-Ast (2025) Check the new football tshirt at www.toubebas.com!
9 weeks 4 days ago — FA Cup on PIX: (1830) ManU-Leeds; (2330) WHU-Arsenal. Y'DAY's FA CUP: Ast 3-1 Bla, Mid 0-1 ManC, Rea 1-1 Liv, Wig 4-1 Hull, Tot 4-0 Pet