November, 2008

Which Queue?

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It's the second post in the row which erupted from my visit to Landmark. Also the second post in a row which resulted from a very chaotic experience at Landmark.

I have always had a tough 2 minutes to make my mind about which of the 8 queues I would be joining at the Landmark check-out counter. In my 5th year, we had to attend a course on Modelling, supervised by Prof. N. B. Ballal. By the end of the first lecture, I was a fan of the course, and ofcourse of the great professor. That's what happens when the professor asks you to make your own equation for the shape of the flame (the craziest thing I have done) using as many assumptions and parameters as you want.

Even better when - and then you really do it :) Our class did make an equation, and it was a good learning exercise.

If I had the patience, I would have made another model for my "Which Queue" problem. However, here are some of the parameters that my head thinks of when I am making that decision (note: the decision making has to be as quick as that of a sportsman - the queue conditions change just as the ... shape of the flame ... ):

  • The length of the queue. Of course, a shorter queue is not the answer. The other parameters come into play very soon. But the shortest queue is the first one I observe.
  • The person behind the counter. Somehow I feel (call me an MCP - I am just being practical here) that the ladies are not very good with the gadgets. Hence, if the check-out system is electronic, I avoid visiting the queue with ladies behind the counter.
  • The shopping carts in the queue. The lesser the number of items, the better.
  • The number of 'women groups' in the queue . Women usually shop together - so it's very likely that if two or three women are standing together in a queue, they are with each other. They are, actually, just one customer.
  • The kind of people in the queue. Youth are normally quick and impatient with their payment, while the seniors take their own time.
  • The presence of children in the queue. The counters have so many chillad takeaways (chocolates, keyrings) - and the children invariably end up demanding them when the parent reaches the counter. The parents have to oblige, the child makes his choice, the parent searches for the change, the parent argues ... blah blah blah. This queue, in short, sucks. 
  • The distance from the exit. If two queues make equal sense to me, I stand in the one closer to the exit. That way, I can save my oh-so-precious time. Almost 2-3 seconds for sure.
  • The number of men in the queue. Men, like Jerry Seinfeld says, have always been hunters. For a true man, a queue is one of the most irritating places to be in. All men in the queue would do their best for the queue to be fast ... jump into this queue, folks. 

Eureka!

In the first lecture of the modelling course, Prof. Ballal (who once made me cry in his office for 15 minutes for my miserable academics in the third year - 5 minutes later I was playing bare-chested football in our H2 footer field) suggested that we either take this course, or go watch Tom & Jerry. The reason: making Tom & Jerry is one of the most creative and highly imaginative processes. I actually watch Tom & Jerry with this thought in mind - and I am left amused and amazed about how these guys even think of the various gimmicks!

MeraSport has taken a newer leap. The site is pretty plain now - we'll soon add the caricatures from the previous MeraSport.

 

My system never cras

 

 

SMS - The Life Span?

Once in a while, I do get into discussions with some colleagues. The other times, I keep speaking in my head (which is very much like blogging in your head).

A conversation with Rupal made me realise that in the next 2-3 years, SMS would soon be as extinct a technology as the very-hyped pager.

You may think I am crazy!

But look around you - out of 10 people I meet, 3-4 have mobile phones (I would rather call them PC's) that have the following features (apart from many others, of course):

  • They have an email client which can keep you logged on 24/7; 
  • They have the famous qwerty keyboard which makes typining pretty easy;
  • The client alerts (vibrates/beeps) when it receives an email

The rate of technology is such that in the next 1-2 years, these would be 'stale' features. Every one who matters would have these kind of phones, and email-on-the-fly would air - all around.

The great strengths that email has over sms are:

  • Unlimited archiving;
  • Even better, email is free to send;
  • The best: the capacity to contain more than 160 characters;
  • Then, it doesn't depend so much on the network congestion (try sending an sms on New Year's Night - and count yourself lucky if it gets delivered in less thatn 15 seconds).

I don't see why people would be using sms the way they do now. From the merasport point of view, that is one reason why we have started an email-alerts service along with the sms-alerts.

There would still be people who would use sms - like there were people till four years ago who did use the pager. But sms has some core flaws in itself - and the moment we have something matching, we will be ready to ditch the old lady for the new one.

 

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

The Other Side of the Fence

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Recently, out of the blue, I got a chance to speak at the career-choice program at the TVS Academy, Hosur school (Hosur is a place 50 km from Bangalore - and does not belong to Karnataka). The audience, to whom I spoke yesterday, comprised of 50-60 students (grade 10-12), their parents, and the teachers.

Now! 3 days ago, I spoke nervously in front of some VC's in an attempt to seek some funding for MeraSport. That nervousness was just nothing compared to the butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling I had while speaking in front of these very curious and eager students - especially when I had the bonus-onus to talk about careers and related-choices.

What followed, though, was pure ecstacy!

(I was invited on account of being a 'success' in my career! I don't think I have been a success yet, but they reiterated that for them I was a success, merely on grounds of going for a weird field such as sports after having studied (?) at IIT. It was impossible for me to decline their offer to speak, after such an overwhelming approach. Plus, I have this inherent respect and love for the student generation - which is so creative, energetic, and damn positive about everything).

The other 4 speakers were seniors, two of whom I could locate on the net as well: Karthik (flourishing career in wild-life); and Anup Naik (an established architect). The entire session was fascinating, with the speakers speaking enthusiastically about their experiences, and the students and parents applauding and responding oh-so-sportingly! Not once did I feel annoyed about travelling 100kms on a Sunday morning for a 10 minute talk.

I spoke straight from the heart. Some of my thoughts: 

  • The word 'career' comes from 'care-er' - someone or something that takes care of you (like work-er, play-er). Care includes eveything: money, emotions, love, passion - and hence, a career should be able to take care of all those points - not just money. Nonetheless, money has to be important.
  • Money will come. It will take 2, 5, 7 or a maximum of 10 years - but money will flood in. More importantly, that won't be the end of it. If it were, the Ambanis, and Kiran Majumdar, and Bill Gates - all would have stopped 'working'. 
  • Friends are like the Post-It glue - the cohesiveness disappears with time. The only people anyone can be the most sure of are one's parents, next comes the spouse - and, hence, they should be taken care of right from the onset. It's their support which matters - and, unconsciously, it's their cushion which we keep in mind when we dare to move forward. Friends may just be ready to help, but parents would always be there.
  • The following qualities would ensure success in any field: communication skills, great ethics, smartness, humility 'n' respect, and a hell-lot-of-an (constructive) ego. Take one of them out, and doom is unavoidable.

There were some impromptu wisecracks that were thrown into this talk. However, the real fun followed the talk when these hyper-eager, and very smart, students just surrounded the speakers to shake hands with them, some calling me, "Anna!", the others calling me, "Sir!" - but all of them bubbling around with excited faces! Can't say how I felt when one of them came up and jumped around saying, "My name is Saurabh also, Sir!"

:)

5 minutes later, I found myself in a classroom with 5-6 parents and 20-30 students shooting questions regarding a prospective career in sports! There was just so much to talk about (yes ... try speaking with me about a career in sports) - the parents trying to find about the best institutes to study sports as a business, the students inquiring about the various sports-career options. Interestingly, 6-7 of the students were girls! They must have asked almost as many questions as the boys (about life as a sports manager). The curiosity ranged from "what I do in the office" and "what have I done earlier" to "why did I choose to get into sports after IIT" to "why didn't I stay back in the UK" to "would sports be a wise decision for them" ... 

Probably the best thing I liked about this visit was getting back to school - walking through the corridoors lined with classrooms stuffed with benches. There's this freshness that only a school can generate. I would recommend everyone to keep networking with college students. There's a lot we can learn from that species.

 

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

 

 

Rock On!

in

आस्मा है नीला क्यों?

Easy. Smaller wavelength of blue color and scattering by particles.

पानी गीला-गीला क्यों?

Strong hydrogen bonds, duffer! Else water would have been non-geela at room temperature.

गोल है क्यों जमीन?

Hmm! Good question. Keep anything in the cosmos for million-billion years, and it would take the most stable shape (sphere). 

 

Silk मैं है नर्मी क्यों?

There's a whole lot of sericulture involved here. 

आग मैं है गर्मी क्यों?

Exothermic chemical reaction? 

दो और दो पांच क्यों नहीं?

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2.

 

सोचा है ऽऽऽऽऽ ....... ये तुमने क्या कभी?

सोच लिया!

 

I liked the movie - watched it with Pdot and Ndot in Bmbay. However, it failed to inspire me to a fit of nostalgia - Dil Chahta Hai does it much better. Also, in Bongi's company, I have had the pleasure to watch western rock-movies like  Almost Famous, which set a benchmark for rock movies. However, Rock On! was a great movie for the Indian audience (now, that's spoken like a overly sophisiticated critic)!

Enjoy the music, meanwhile, here.

 

Sorry, no quote today.

 

 

Banned Questions

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Was texting Ankur Bhargava urf Tyson on the fabulous gtalk - and he started asking those questions which I really hate. Well, while I didn't let him proceed beyond his first question, I gave him a mouthful about the questions I despise when people chat with me over phone, or text, or even in person. Here's the list:

  • "Aur ... kya chal raha hai?"
  • "Aur sunao ..."
  • "Shaadi kab kar raha hai?"
  • "What's new???" or "Kuch naya bata?"
  • "Kahan hai aajkal?"
  • "Koi nayi film dekhi?"

If you really can't find anything to speak with me about, the best is to hang up, or speak about ManU. If not that, just ask these questions with more purpose, more specificity, or don't ask at all.

 

Brian Kelly:  Can I ask you something personal?

Tina Trac:  Sure...

Brian Kelly:  Where's the bathroom?

 

 

And I Love You So

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 and here are the lyrics ...

And I love you so.
The people ask me how,
How I've lived till now.
I tell them I don't know.

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been.
But life began again
The day you took my hand.

And, yes, I know how lonely life can be.
The shadows follow me, and the night won't set me free.
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me.

And you love me, too.
Your thoughts are just for me;
You set my spirit free.
I'm happy that you do.

The book of life is brief
And once a page is read,
All but love is dead.
That is my belief.

And, yes, I know how loveless life can be.
The shadows follow me, and the night won't set me free.
But I don't let the evening bring me down
Now that you're around me.

And I love you so.
The people ask me how,
How I've lived till now.
I tell them, "I don't know."

 

 A good laugh is like the sunshine in the house.

 

 

Sim Generation

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The generation gap is getting smaller, and smaller. Sanjay (Mob Me Co-Founder, and now a business associate/partner) made this dawn upon me recently in a conference (he loves climbing on the stage at every occasion - that's what his buddy Vivek told me when got talking to them) that the gap between you, and someone just 4 years younger to you is m-a-s-s-i-v-e - much more than what you thought it could be. 

For example, Abhinav, who writes for MeraSport these days, informed me that he finds thumbing an sms on a 1-2-3 keypad much easier than writing similar stuff on the laptop! For some reason, I never tried to find out what prediction-mode is, but these new fellows are born with that knowledge.

I would never have imagined that - in my past 5 lives - and no wonder, I was left silenced for 2 minutes! Not just because suddenly I felt much older than what I think I am (and, for once, I felt concerned about my greying hair), but because it means a lot for my work. 

(When people comment on my greying hair, "Haaww! Premature greying ...", I just retort, "Not Premature ... Precocious Greying!" - clever?)

We feel that the little screen of the mobile world can do only so much when compared to the larger laptop screen which is much more richer, but here's the truth: this new generation was born using the smaller screen, so it expects businsses to make products (games, animations, scoreboards, websites) to make the small-screen experience richer. Try ignoring the small-screen, and in the next 4 years you and your business will be a dodo. 

I love this song - and everytime I see this movie or hear this song, I wish for the following: I knew Italian, I had Roberto Benigni's charm, I could see an Opera. If I work really hard, I can get all three - but that's what I am - Brilliant, but Lazy. 

 

 

To define recursion, we must first define recursion.

 

 

Evan Almighty

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Was watching 'Evan Almighty' today (yes, the sequel to Bruce Almighty). I knew it won't match Bruce Almighty because Jim Carey doesn't feature in this one - but I was left impressed to a certain extent. 

The motto of the film: to change the world, you need to do just one act of random kindness at a time.

The method used in the film: an analogy with how Noah changed the world with his one act of random kindness ... which abbreviates to ARK. Hence, the Noah's Ark.

I liked some thoughts conveyed through this film. For example, when we pray to God for something, we won't get it. What we would get, though, is an opportunity to discover that one thing we so wish for.

Wish for courage, and you will get the opportunity to display some. Wish for a loving family, and you and your family will get an opportunity to discover that love. Come to think of it, how many times have we regretted on not making the most of our family time. I, for one, have regretted it tremendously at times!

Watch out for the next time you get an opportunity to make anyone smile. Actually, forget that anyone else ... look out for the chance to smile yourself! As Ashish normally says - the only one you can really make happy is - you. I feel making yourself happy is a necessary, and sometimes a sufficient, condition to make people around you happy.

Yenyway. So much for the film and the related senti. Was out for 5 days for a couple of weddings (if you don't have anyone in your social locus who got married on either one of the days from 21-25th of November, you are awfully mal-socialized). Interesting observatory-posts to follow.



God: So what did you do today?

Bruce: Answered everyone's prayers. Gave them all what they wanted!

God: And since when do people know what they really want?

 

 

How soon will 26/11 be forgotten?

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Bombay will forget it late, the rest of India will forget it soon. If we were a developed nation like the US, we would have focussed all our energies on this problem. However, the country has so many other problems to cater too - the terror of not being able to find food for the evening, the terror of sleeping in the chill and the rain, the terror of being diagnosed of a fatal ailment ... etc. etc.

This incident will soon be forgotten - not as soon as the others, but it won't take a very long time before normal routine follows. It will be forgotten, or remembered, probably, as another Indian trauma that occured on yet another 26th day of a month.

Hoping that the people who should suffer, do suffer. Also, wondering where Raj Thackeray has been all this while - the terrorists were definitely aliens to Maharashtra - shouldn't Raj be there to drag them out?

 

When it's a question of money, everyone's of the same religion.

 

 

Put a SIM in my Remote, Please!

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I wish the following things had a sim-card in them - just to make it easier for us to trace them by a few missed calls:

  1. The TV Remote (I was about to write 'Remote Control', but that's so ganwaar types); 
  2. The Wallet;
  3. Children (during wedding ceremonies);
  4. The Toothbrush;
  5. The Kitchen Knife;
  6. The Wrist Watch.
  7. The Key Chain

Life would really be easier that way. 

 

Women! You can't live with them!

You can't live without them!

You can't kill them!

 

 

My GameDay Tweets!

8 weeks 3 days ago — Manchester City vs Blackburn Rovers (ESPN, 0124hrs)! Next set of games on the 16th!
8 weeks 5 days ago — ESPN: Hul-Che (1810), Ars-Eve (2025), Bir-ManU (2255); STAR: Wig-Ast (2025) Check the new football tshirt at www.toubebas.com!
9 weeks 4 days ago — FA Cup on PIX: (1830) ManU-Leeds; (2330) WHU-Arsenal. Y'DAY's FA CUP: Ast 3-1 Bla, Mid 0-1 ManC, Rea 1-1 Liv, Wig 4-1 Hull, Tot 4-0 Pet